Mar 8, 2014

Women's day - Can I please celebrate?

When it comes to International Women’s day, I can be called as a non-believer. However, now that I am part of the festival, I’d just put up my views and a few questions for you -

A text conversation -
Me: I am going for this women's day meet I told you about.
Him: K
Me: You are okay with it right?
No reply.
Me: you don't want me to go?
Him: no, go.
Me: it seems to me that you don't want.
Him: no it's okay. GO! I am busy.
Me: okay.
I go with a heavy heart.

How many women relate to similar experiences?

If I am not mistaken, many will. Why I ask?

Statistic shows that women are independent, confident as individuals, yet insecure and unsure they are in their relationships.

We might be CEO of multi-national, but we always unsure of our position in front of our partner.
If we miss a dinner, it is more guilt than sadness. If we forget an anniversary (which we rarely do) we go miles out of our way to apologize.

We seek his approval to meet new people, unsure how he'd react. We seek his permission to tattoo. We even seek his approval to get a new haircut.

We feel the need to justify our each action, even when we are not asked for explanation. We feel guilty if we spend some unexplainable time just with our selves.

Yet, we do it. We do it and justify and feel guilty and then again do it. Is it because in our hearts we know we are right but we are not assertive enough?

We gain a few pounds, we are insecure that he might fall out of love. He gains a few, we shower extra love. We make sure that he looses those kgs, but will be extremely careful to not mention it.

We do not say no to him. Literally. Be it in-bed, or out of it. We believe that there is no “no’s” in a relationship. We are pleasers and when it comes to men, we roll ourselves like a foot mat in front of his feet and take all his demands. With time some of us have learned to say “no” but then again we do it with guilt.

More often than not, I meet women who remind me of Julia Roberts of Runaway bride, whose taste in eggs changed as per her boyfriend’s taste.

There are many of us, who understand their position as an equal. There are some who do not live in that guilt. But a majority of us somewhere believe us to be “the weaker sex.”  Are we really one? Do we really need a women’s day?

This women’s day, I want to pose this question to all my female readers – “do you think of yourself as an equal in the relationship?” And to male readers – “do you think your partner is weaker than you?”

Before we go, I'd like to quote Mahatma Gandhi -


This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.

Have you found Shades of Life on Facebook yet? Please check it out here

Please take out time to read more about the featured blogger for the month of March "Aditi Kaushiva" here.

Also, check out the post by a non-blogger who penned down her feeling.

Guests are always welcomed at Shades of Life. Drop me a line at and I would love to share your thoughts here.


  1. Fortunately, I am. But I can totally rl elate to being insecure in decision making. it's as though everything has to be dependent on him, and it really speaks a lot for a need for psychological emancipation. A happy IWD!

  2. We so need IWD to continue to fight for our rights...I know women who will proudly say their husbands/partners 'let' them do things or wear certain clothes...and I'm always astounded. Since when did we need partner's permission to do stuff or choose our outfits? To me we still have a long way to go. Both in the personal realm as well as professionally...

    1. I feel IWD is not meant for women who are proud of their husband letting them do things...

  3. When we stop living our lives as per the skewed notions of the society... maybe then we will be truly independent. Well written.

    1. Rajlakshmi most important is to believe in yourself.

  4. Women are the original second-class citizens. Before racism, before discrimination based on nationality or religion, women were discriminated against... For not being men. We can blame men all we want, but expecting them to change things for us--change their attitudes, give us respect, treat us like equals--isn't that exacerbating the problem? Isn't *that* the problem? That we wait for men to allow, permit, give a measly nod of approval? The responsibility lies with us: WE must change our attitude, WE must give ourselves (and each other) respect, WE must treat ourselves as equals to anyone, anywhere. It's not easy, but it's the only way to create permanent change.

    Visiting from The A-Z Theme Reveal and looking forward to your April posts :)

    1. I couldnt agree more. Thank Guilie for dropping by.

  5. Sugandha spot on with your analysis. This is the situation around, women seek men's approval in whatever they do and they feel guilty if they don't! We need to treat ourselves with respect and do what we love on our own terms!

  6. All valid points here, Sugandha. Nicely written.
    The 1st conversation reminds me of a scene from Shaadi Ke Side effects in which the hubby takes permission to go & wife says "agar jaana chaho to jao" & still she is angry that he went! :)

    1. Probably men are right...we don't know what we want.

  7. We go so much importance to the MAN in our life Why? I think somewhere we are looking for appreciation, feeling of belongings as we are taken so much for granted. We try so hard to be a perfect wife,daughter,mother that we forget the responsibility we owe to ourselves.
    Good points raised.

    1. true that...Thank you. Glad that you liked it.


You surely want to leave a comment. Don't you? Go ahead! please :)